Failure

I am a failure. I thought that maybe by starting this blog, I could trick people who don't already know me into thinking that I am not a failure, but I am a failure, and I have failed. After getting off work at 7:00pm, I took the #23 down from Temple University to South Street. My two options for mussel-purchasing were SuperFresh and Whole Foods. I prefer to shop at SuperFresh in general, as SuperFresh is owned by some guy who I don't know anything about, while Whole Foods is owned by some crazy libertarian anti-union asshole. Also, SuperFresh tends to be cheaper. Politics aside, I would rather purchase my mussels from Whole Foods, as they do put more effort into handling their perishable goods.
The friendly seafood guy at Whole Foods explained to me that this is the worst time of the year for mussels, and that they hadn't gotten any in in a few days. I then headed to SuperFresh, where the friendly seafood guy offered to check in back to see if they had any more mussels. Maybe I should have been a little suspicious at that point. Or when he gave me the mussels in a more or less airtight package. I paid for them, took them home, and opened up the packaging. It smelled horrible, and most of the mussels were open. Prodding them and squeezing them did not cause them to move at all. Steve, the man who first issued the mussel challenge to me and has since become my most dedicated de-bearding assistant, agreed that we were fucked. No mussels for us tonight. I still have my fresh tarragon and my heavy cream and my mustard, but I don't think I'll be able to use them before Friday. My apologies. Now I am going to post a picture to sum up my feelings about this incident. It was taken at the Beijing Zoo. I feel like the bears in this picture. They are sad because they live in a concrete pit and are surrounded by trash that people throw at them.